In the last month Sunderland has seen approximately 10 minutes of actual sunshine. The sun comes up, I’m sure it does, but where it heads off after that is a mystery to me. Sea fret and brain fog. I can feel myself heading into slow motion. This might be the last flicker of intelligence before shutting down for the winter. I feel melodramatic and full of woe. The short days in twilight are infuriating. Why can’t I live nearer the equator?
In fairness, I’ve been doing well for months. Less overwhelming pain. Fewer days, in fact next to no days spent crying. But today in the darkness I feel the need to express myself before the low mood suffocates me. Bring out the tiny violins and play me a rousing chorus. Mental health and the weather.
It’s whether or not you can weather the weather.
Making art is a balm for the soul, but I can barely be bothered to make anything at all. I’m typing this ramble in an attempt to say what is bothering me out loud, so I can reorder my thoughts into something proactive. What’s wrong? Everything and nothing. The world is a swirling cesspit and I am just trying to get the stench of it out of my nostrils.
The dark days sharpen my despair. How on earth did we, a complex civilisation, become so violently disconnected from each other? How have we become so disconnected from our mother Earth? We are some poisonous nasty creatures creating and living in our false reality. Worshipping money and despising those without. It’s a hollow vacuous blip in an otherwise interesting experiment in consciousness. We are the universe becoming self aware. Surely we have to take responsibility? These false narratives peddled by suited men selling snake oil are killing us all.
This rant into the ether will change nought. Those with the capacity to care already do. That’s why on dark days we can feel so impotent in the face of so much selfishness. Those that don’t care will continue to not care. They will continue to spout racism, sexism, elitism, and all the -ism’s whilst claiming that they were really the victim in all this. Righteously indignant. What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours will eventually be mine as well because the trickle down economy is a fairy tale told by conservative thinkers.
If you haven’t already, listen to the people around you saying that they have no money to feed their children, that there is no money to provide proper social care, that there is no money to pay the pensions that the WASPI women deserve, but there is money to send back to the EU that should’ve been spent on improving child poverty. Wtf!
I’ll end this rant by saying, brighten someone’s day today. Be kind. Be generous. Love each other. We will only succeed in the face of tyranny by standing together. They are strong, but greed makes them weak.
VOTE LABOUR! I’ll give more of myself for a better society for everyone. Will you?